some thoughts on stuff

What’s a book? Is it a self-realization of an individual’s life in the context of living others? Or is it self-realization as a closed compartment, for example an “insurgent,” a category that remains separate from all the other separate categories?

- Sophie

Back from the Mountains

In typical fashion, almost a month late – over the last weekend I triumphantly finished reading Letters of Insurgents. This was my second reading of the book, as I read it the summer before as well. I don’t think I will read it next summer, but perhaps sometime years from now. It is a really tremendous book (what is a book though?). Definitely within the top three books of all time for me. How can it be bad when it is in the company of Finnegans Wake and One Hundred Years of Solitude? Answer: it’s not possible (even if everything is allowed).

While I would have liked to be more prolific in writing down some thoughts, the summer wrapped me in its envelope, which is often hard to escape from. Anyways – it took me long enough to even finish the book, needless to say write about the stuff I was reading. Although, I will say that I took my time, because I really have an appreciation for it and I really have to be in the mood to soak it up. Back when I started reading it, maybe I was being a little too emotional – but, beautiful things can do that – and I was just grabbed again by how much the stuff can mean. When was the last time you started crying after reading a book that wasn’t Twilight?

A note about the writing part: I’m kind of amazed at how much some people managed to write – and even though I haven’t really looked over everyone else’s thoughts or some of the discussion of the forum, I did manage to read a few. Often times I avoided it, because I was behind in the reading (surprise, surprise) and didn’t want to read that far into the letters yet. I guess an eight-hundred and thirty-one page book deserves a good lengthy discussion – or at least a major blockbuster movie to be made about it? So, who is going to make the Letters of Insurgents movie? (ps. I’m willing to be cast as either Yarostan, Jan, Nachalo, or Ted. If you think I’m going to be Lem – get real.)

tête-à-tête

In no specific order, here are some things that came to mind while I was finishing up the final chapters of the book.

On being neighbors: Mr. Ninvino (spelling error? I have to look his name up in book again…) is the neighbor of Yarostan and Mirna. Doesn’t it suck when the people you live closest too are not that friendly? Or turn out to be complete assholes? This has been an ongoing experience in my life, living next to people, who you try and be friends with – but, they turn out not to be that friendly. Not that my family and my friends are hard to get along with, we’re really not. I think it is fair to say, that yes – some people just plain suck. Fortunately, I’ve had and continue to have some really awesome neighbors in my life – and if you can’t make it happen with your neighbors, then how you going to go big?

If I hadn’t been exchanging letters with you for the past months, I would have reacted to those headlines the same way they did. And I realized there’s no such entity as a human species, or rather that it doesn’t recognize itself as such; it possesses no faculty of community. Either it never had such a faculty or it lost it. The beings I was among, including me, were not species-beings but closed compartments. Maybe what we’ve just experienced on both sides of the world shows that the faculty of species-being is something still to be created, and that it’s not the abstract “community” I’ve always envisioned but something very concrete, as concrete as Mirna’s “excursions.” Maybe it’s nothing but the willingness to touch, feel, look at and listen to each other.

- Sophie [you say Sophia]

On work: I really appreciate the many takes Letters offers in regards to the subject of work. All the way from not working (CrimethInc.), to factory jobs (NEFAC) and farming (Urban Scout), to being a student and/or teacher (Institute for Anarchist Studies), or being into politics (RAAN) (plus more, sure why not? of course, I’m only joking, but you can still send hate mail if you want). As mentioned before, one attraction of this book is that it appeals to me, in part, because of shared experiences and the discussion that revolves around them. While at times it may not be large, often the little things can have the most impact, after all isn’t that what chaos tells us?

A specific area that I tried to pay extra close attention to while reading was that of the student and teacher, and the role of academics in each characters life. If I’m not mistaken, Fredy Perlman was at times in his life, a teacher and I’m sure some of his reflections are brought out by the characters in the book. Sophie’s adventures in academics are classic and I think one could probably write a review just based on those – but, I’m not going to be that person. Yet, at least…

On friendship: Pretty much the entire book is about the relationships experienced throughout living. All different, if you will, kinds of friendship and relations are developed throughout the book. Some are quite beautiful and others not so much, but the efforts to explore these kinds of questions is something I feel relevant to my life.

When I first read the book, it simply amazed me how someone could write such long beautiful letters to one another. It kind of made me jealous that this kind of stuff happens, and I wondered what it would take for me to write a really long letter to the one I would sign with love? In the age of e-mail and instant messages, these kind of letters seem less and less common, and it makes me sad. I think part of this book, has really upped my standards and efforts when I write a personal letter to a friend and loved one.

Dreams are realized only during vacations?

On that note, my vacation into this book isn’t over – I don’t think it ever will be – but, I’m going to spend some time in other places. Perhaps, I will add some more thoughts in the near future and as I read more of the other posts that have come from this reading of the book create a list of my personal favorites.

Until then, besitos and a very strong hug,

- rocinante

You can do anything you want

“impossibility is a term of logic and reality doesn’t observe the limits of logic”
- Sophie (page #382)

Wow. It has been a while, and for a moment there I fell behind a bit in the reading and writing about that reading. The conversation is always there, it is just a matter of putting it down into words for others to read, and yourself to digest. As you can see from the above photograph, I have been pretty busy this summer, and typing on a computer, in the sweltering heat, known as this town, while trying to think about stuff to write – isn’t always the most appealing of things. Although, it should be and I’m beginning to wonder if having this computer/keyboard is in a way hampering some writing.

Don’t get me wrong, I actually really enjoy writing on a keyboard/screen/computer, but at the same time there are things about handwriting stuff that just blows me out of the water. There are so many things I like about handwriting – a few of them are, looking back upon, reading it years later, in your hands, no screen, the writing style and way of forming words / fonts that develop and begin to show with time. Plus, I don’t know – but it just seems that something is different when you hit keys vs. actually writing the words out with your hand, certainly not as fast – but none-the-less refined.

Today, after I woke I spent the entire day riding bikes with a friend out to the country, escaping from the city. I thought about Sophia and Ron (plus Sabina) riding their bikes out as far as they could go. We found things that we never knew about before, and traveled to places unknown – it was wonderful. Then tomorrow, (now today) one more day before the world of work resumes.

These days off vs. days of work, are special for me – and I’m sure many feel the same way, unless you’re a Luisa. Some of us work much more than others, and sometimes I think it is one of the most important things to spend a day doing nothing, like a days spent walking around aimlessly on city streets like Sophia or weeks on end spent reading books like Jasna. Actually, Jasna is kind of funny – it seems she reads to lose herself from reality and create something that is unreal, like an illusion. I see myself doing this sometimes… Just like Yarostan remembers, it’s not my life project to find myself in death, looking back realizing that I never really was alive.

Here are some quotes that I marked along the way:

Yarostan on species being:

All around me human beings are attempting to come to life as human beings, as universal individuals, as species beings, each advancing with all and all with each. (page #193)

Zdenek on representation:

I think humanity is finally rejecting what has always been an impossible project, the project of representation. The present proliferation of major and minor pharaohs around the world is the final and ludicrous stage of that impossible project. My life can’t be lived as a representation; my representative can’t realize my aspirations, take my steps or engage in my actions. The pharaohs are the final and definitive proof of the impossibility of representation. I think we’ve all finally learned what took me so long to learn, namely that I’m robbed of my enjoyment if my representative enjoys himself for me, that my hunger remains when he eats for me, that I don’t express myself when he speaks for me, that my mind and my imagination stagnate when he thinks for me, and decides for me, that I lose my life when he lives for me.” (page #199)

Hugh on friends [to Sophie]:

My new friends don’t need you. What you carry inside you, what surrounds you, whether you intend it or not, is all the rot we’ve started to shed. (page #409)

Imagine someone saying this to you. Sometimes, we all need a bit of a reality check, some more than others – and I suppose really in the end this is what it must have felt like to have this said about you. I like this because even if it sounds pretty mean, it also feels like inspiration. Where do we find what moves us each day? Is it anger that drives you? Something else, or perhaps better a combination of things? Do you even know what drives you? Or what you drive for?

Sophia on school newspaper:

That group of students didn’t disperse at the end of the school year, the way we did. They kept their publication going.

I think this is an interesting quote to think about, because it actually seems like a constant problem among student groups (or even other groups who may have some form of seperation) who have a running publication. I imagine the time and distance of a summer to be huge gap between doing and non-doing – so how does one, keep the metaphorical ball rolling?

Sabina on what it all means:

There’s nothing to understand, Sophia, and nothing to fit into. It’s your life to do with as you will. There’s no structure. Nothing is banned. Everything is allowed. No holds are barred.”

And I will leave you with that, and now that I’ve caught up again with the reading, after a monstrous never-ending summer took hold – I look forward to keeping a more steady grasp on the writing, and thinking a little more critically about the book. Cheers!

losing your illusion in the land of gigantic objects and monstrous toys

Hello there world. It has been a busy week, with the official start of summer, and one more set of letters.

One idea that really sticks out for me in this set of letters that of illusion. The title of this blog is viva la ilusión, which can be thought of something as “long live the illusion” or maybe, if you get wild “all power to the illusion” (but, that really isn’t the exact translation / it’s just the thought). So, it was kind of ironic when I thought about it, and when I found myself reading about losing your illusion and shedding it off for something else. The word illusion appears throughout these second letters,

Since we all know we’ll eventually die, since any of us might die tomorrow, are all our hopes and dreams illusions?

- Sophia (2)

How does one
go about shedding their illusions,
losing them,
like death,
nothing else is imaginable

Shedding our illusions, repressing our wants, forgetting our possibilities: these are the slogans of the ruling order; coming from you they sound bizarre.

- Sophia (2)

Just for fun (and what else can I say?): When I was living in La Habana, I saw an orange cargo truck with the words “viva la ilusión” spray painted on it, toting the anarchy symbol. It has stuck in my memory ever since, even though I have no picture – it stays – and that is how I came across the name for this blog. While I didn’t live in Cuba for exactly the longest of times, parts of the book remind me of experiences there.

Originally, if you will – I’m from middle of nowhere-awesome New York, so living in Cuba was a complete change from everything known before. It seems for the most part, their are two options; one can read about things, or one can go and experience things [of course, their are more, it just sounds nice]. Although, truth be told, it’s really not that simple, but – summed up, I was fortunate enough to live the student life there. Teachers / students discussing matters, but to a certain extent. And yes, this happens everywhere, but it is quite defined there, especially to what I have known growing up in a place that really emphasizes the idea of free speech.

Sophia seems to learn what a teacher is from Yarostan. And then, Sophia herself goes on to become a teacher. Her stories, along with Yarostan’s in relation to this idea of the student or/and professor (SOAP) is one area that I’d like to focus on throughout the reading.

Leaving it all, to wonder…

What is your life project?

The following are headlines from the media: (of course only jokes, but actual quotes, just with titles that define them from the get-go!)

Yarostan, the killer:

“At first I shot to avenge my parents. Later I just shot; my only concern was to hit.”

- Yarostan (2)

Sophia on friendship:

“A complete lack of human warmth, understanding, sympathy, comradeship. A cold, dispassionate disection of an animal.”

- Sophia (2)

Sophia on Hakim Bey:

Can you really be saying that insurgents only rise against the ruling order so as to reimpose it? Can you really be saying that the only dreams of rebels are dreams of authority and submission?

- Sophia (2)

Sophia on the radio:

The radio is an instrument which kills communication; it robs people of their tongues; it broadcasts the voice of a single individual to millions of listeners, reducing them to passive receptacles. If communication has the same root as common and community, the radio is an instrument for uprooting all three.

-Sophia (2)

Sophia on teaching:

“I decided during my first teaching job that I wasn’t going to let myself be reduced to a means of production for the production of means of production.”

- Sophia (2)

Sophia on life:

“I’ve tried to show you that my whole life has revolved around the experience I shared with you and that all my life I’ve sought to communicate with you.”

Well, goodnight all. Till, next week and then some. Saludos…

ps. sophia = much sweeter? love struck? and regretting leaving paradise?